Fear. It can be crippling. It can suck out the joy in our spirits and replace it with insecurity, distrust, depression, panic, and many other paralyzing traits. We’ve all felt it, and know the differing tolls it takes on our mind, spirit, and body.
I am a planner. I like the known, the controllable outcomes, the familiar, a world and space that I feel secure in and that I can count on. No, I’m not a control freak or a neat freak, but I do feel comfort from life being clean and tidy, and put together. I like having a plan, and even a back-up plan for when things don’t go as planned! I love to organize and take pride in inventing new ways to do things better. It’s in my DNA. I am naturally ingrained as an achiever, an activator, a developer, and a strategic minded person who invites positions of responsibility. And stretching over those natural go get ’em traits, I am extremely empathetic and sensitive.
Therefore, it’s very natural and understood that the course charted by the ship our life is on can look very daunting and scary. The winds change unexpectedly, the water we tread is unknown; and though we know the destination, there is no perfect formula for getting there without obstacles and unseen difficulties. We have prayerfully stepped out of the boat, and began to walk in faith, with our eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith.
He does not call everyone to the same path, and He does not call the equipped. He equips the called, and has promised to never leave or forsake us! Let me make this crazy clear, I am human. At times I feel afraid and worry. I have days where I struggle with depression, the blahs, and just feel like giving up and hiding away. I fail, daily. It would be so easy to take the easier path of giving up and go about living in a way that I’ve already done. It’s known. It’s reliable. It’s…not the way I feel called to live, or desire to live.
I often struggle with questions like: Am I doing the right thing? Am I crazy for stepping out of the boat into the unknown? The answer is always the same. Deep peace! I am a Jesus lover, a Jesus freak, and I love him with all my heart. You see, every time fear comes to rob my joy, Jesus reminds me of the truth of his word, the Bible, and the result is deep peace. He says, “I have told you these things so that in my you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcomes the world!” (John 16:33) He tells me, “So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and protect you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand!” (Isaiah 41:10)
So you see, when the land we plan to put our tiny houses on falls through (3 times), though I’m human, and it is natural to freak out and feel downhearted, I can take a deep breath, and look at Jesus, his word, his truth, and by faith learn to trust him through the obstacle and wave of insecurity. When we have to move our RV because of city rules (yep, that just happened), I can take a deep breath and speak God’s truth, “Surly God is my salvation. I will trust and not be afraid, for the Lord is my strength and my song. He has become my salvation!” (Isaiah 12:2) When we have to spend money to fix yet another problem with the RV, I can remind myself, “Trust the Lord, with all your heart, and lean not onto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5)
Do I feel afraid? Yes, but I then remind myself that Jesus kicks fear in the butt, and I look to him to fill my need of security. Do I get worried, anxious, and want to crawl in a hole and give up at times? Yes, but then Jesus reminds me of who he is, and that I am his daughter, whom he loves! He reminds me, “I am the Lord your God who goes before you and is with you. I will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid or discouraged!” (Deuteronomy 31:8)
I can give a whole laundry list of issues that have been challenging these last 4 months, the daily new issues to solve, and endless areas of stress. The thing is, I can also solidly say that, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!” (Phillipians 4:13) On my own, I would fail, but I’m not on my own. On my own, I would feel so overwhelmed that I would be easily be consumed and defeated by the process of going tiny and all the challenges that come with it. On my own, I would give into feelings of depression and insecurity, feeling ill equipped for such an adventure, but I am not alone.
Friends, it has thus far been an incredible journey of faith, trust, uncovering insecurities, and overcoming challenges both seen and unforeseen! We’ve found freedom from our “stuff” ruling our time and lives, and the joy to give to those in need. We’ve gotten to meet tons of new people and connected with others that are on the same path to minimalism and sustainability. We have searched our hearts, motives, and personhoods to really pull back the covers and evaluate our desires, our time, our finances, and what things are taking precedence in our lives, and what we desire to change. It’s a reboot. A new start. A fresh and active look on who we want to be, how we want to live, and asking ourselves the tough question of if our life truly reflects what we value and believe, and allowing God to change the areas that were not reflecting him. It’s our catharsis, our carpe diem, our raison d’être and redirecting our hearts and minds to live how we feel called to live. Can you relate?
We would absolutely love to hear your thoughts! Please leave them in the comments below! Thank you for letting me vulnerably share a huge part of my heart!
Melody is a full time mother, CEO of the Mike household, NASM certified Personal Trainer, Group Fitness Instructor, Beach Body Coach, Norwex Representative, Singer/Songwriter, Organizer, Jesus Lover, Wife, and well, you get the idea, a woman of many hats. Adventurous and creative, she loves spending time outdoors and encouraging others to be Lean, Clean, & Green.